I have found that all emotionally abused children grow up to be adults with much in common. The unseen scars of emotionally abused children can last a lifetime and have dramatic effects on how they behave as adults.

These traits and behaviours are what the victims themselves have shared with me. The unseen scars of emotionally abused children can last a lifetime and have dramatic effects on how they behave as adults.

1. They find it hard to accept compliments because as kids, people only talked about their mistakes and flaws.
2. They believe they can never do anything right, even when they do, or are told that that do.
3. They feel like that are to blame for almost anything bad that happens, even if they had nothing to do with it.
4. They isolate themselves and retreat to their home/room/study as a safe place.
5. They are indecisive because they feel like whatever they choose will be wrong.
6. They are hardly themselves, they always agree with the other person. No matter what, they remain neutral.
7. They are uncomfortable with displays of affection, don’t like to accept love and believe it is never unconditional.
8. They unconsciously try hard to please anyone who is an authority figure, because they fear them.
9. They feel the need to explain in detail everything that they do, and have trouble saying no to anyone.
10. They are paranoid and have trust and attachment issues. This leads to a lot of problems with relationships.
11. They hide the ‘bad’ side of themselves from everyone.
12. They believe ‘I’m not good enough”. No matter what they accomplish, it will not block out the negative words.
13. They find it hard to believe that people love and care for them. They often ask “but why would you love/want ME ?”
14. They are almost afraid of making eye contact.
15. They often experience anxiety and even depression because they have trouble communicating their inner feelings.
16. They will never fight back, find it hard to even see a way out and often resign themselves to living without a voice.
17. They have trouble finding out who they are, and what their true beliefs are.
18. They have an enormous amount of anger and sometimes tend to lash out via the safety of a screen on social media.
19. They can’t stand conflict. Sudden loud noises immediately trigger their fight or flight responses.

I have to say that when I work with these individuals it is such rewarding work for both of us and to my many clients, who have trusted me with their stories and allowed me to help them get past those stories,
I say Thank you!