I have found that all emotionally abused children grow up to be adults with much in common. These traits, behaviours are what the victims themselves have shared with me. The unseen scars of emotionally abused children can last a lifetime and have dramatic effects on how they behave as adults.
1.They find it hard to accept compliments because people only talked about their mistakes and flaws when they were kids.
2. They believe they can never do anything right, even when they do, or are told that that do.
3. They feel like that are to blame for almost anything bad that happens, even if they had nothing to do with it.
4. They isolate themselves and retreat to their home/room/study as a safe place.
5. They are indecisive because they feel like whatever they choose will be wrong.
6. They are hardly themselves because they will never say anything that another person may not agree with. No matter what, they remain neutral.
7. They are uncomfortable with displays of affection, don’t like to accept love and believe it is never unconditional.
8. They unconsciously try hard to please anyone who is an authority figure, because they fear them.
9. They feel the need to explain in detail everything that they do, and have trouble saying no to anyone.
10. They are paranoid and have trust and attachment issues. This leads to a lot of problems with relationships.
11. They hide the ‘bad’ side of themselves from everyone.
12. They will never think they are good enough or smart enough. No matter what they accomplish, it will not block out the negative words in their head.
13. They find it hard to believe that there are people who genuinely love and care for them. They often ask “but why would you love/want ME ?”
14. They are almost afraid of making eye contact.
15. They often experience depression or high levels of anxiety because they have trouble communicating their inner feelings.
16. They will never fight back, find it hard to even see a way out and often resign themselves to living without a voice.
17. They have trouble finding out who they are, and what their true beliefs are.
18. They have an enormous amount of anger, and sometimes it causes them to lash out through social media where they can hide behind a screen.
19. They can’t stand conflict. Sudden loud noises immediately trigger their fight or flight responses.